i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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