She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
