At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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