i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
