Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize
