time to smoke my breakfast
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
