if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
