margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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