Do you still have your period?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
