drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
