Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
