Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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