Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize