I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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