im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
