i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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