Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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