I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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