i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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