And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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