no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
