This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Randomize
