Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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