I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Randomize
