You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
