Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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