OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
