rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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