why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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