I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
