You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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