fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
i out mim tonsoeep
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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