So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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