I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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