I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
