How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize
