redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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