Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
