Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
