We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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