the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
