So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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