and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
