oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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