I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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