He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
