Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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