gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
