The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
