No awkward lesbian experiences without me
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
