First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I just want nice things and good sex
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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