I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I could fuck to npr.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
