In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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