The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
