I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize