We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
