uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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