It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
